Brew Your Own Boyfriend
by Dark.And.Light.Intertwined
Summary: Have you ever wished you could create your own boyfriend? Well now you can! This is sweet, short, and simple. Just a bit of humorous fun! HGDM


**Brew Your Own Boyfriend**

**disclaimer: i do not own anything other than the plot. **

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_Do YOU want your very own boyfriend, made to your very likeness?! If so, then this book is for you! _

That is what the back cover read. But open it up… and dear lord, you've never seen so much pink in all your life. It even _smelled_ pink, if that was possible. And even though pink was the complete opposite from our dear Hermione, she gave in and bought the lame book.

It was time to _experiment_.

So she took it home, and sat on the couch in her dorm with the book sitting in front of her on the coffee table. She flipped it open to the first page, and read through it.

_Ingredients:_

_1 Hair of a Blubbertooth -Charm  
3 Cups of Barber Bat Blood -Sexiness  
2 Pinches of Ground Kelpie -Arrogance  
6 Tails of a Newt-Girth  
5 Teeth of a Veela-Loyalty  
1 Ton-Tongue Toffee-Bravery  
7 Hearts of a Wombat-Honesty  
4 Claws of a Kneazle-Intelligence  
8 Lacewing Flies-Humor_

_1 Pinch of Salt  
6 Teaspoons of the Syrup of Hellebore  
3 Stewed Horned Slugs  
2 Dried Nettles  
1 Ounce of Leech Juice_

_Directions:_

_So you want to make yourself a boyfriend, eh? Got your cauldron ready? Good._

_Slowly stir the six teaspoons of the Syrup of Hellebore into a well heated cauldron, stirring sixteen times clockwise. While on the fifteenth stir, sprinkle the dried nettles into the liquid and then begin to stir counter-clockwise five times. On the third stir, toss in the pinch of salt. Now, let the potion simmer, and when it starts to boil, add in six tails of a newt, if needed. Next, pour in three cups of barber bat blood, if needed. Stir the potion seven times counter-clockwise, and then four times clockwise, carefully stirring in the five teeth of a veela, if needed. Bring the potion back to a rolling boil and add the stewed horned slugs. Stir once clockwise, and then add the hair of a blubbertooth, ground kelpie, ton-tongue toffee, wombat, kneazle, and lacewing flies, all at the same time, if needed. Turn off the heat source under the cauldron, and let the potion cool to room temperature. Then lastly, pour in the leech juice and stir once counter-clockwise. Wait twenty minutes, and this potion will have become a fine, silvery-green powder._

It seemed easy enough so far. And what the hay? Why not use every ingredient for the hell of it? Hermione had the potion completed and simply had to wait for it to become the silvery-green powder it mentioned. While she waited, she continued onto reading the final instructions.

_Now that you have a powder, take two large handfuls, and stand in the middle of a large room. After this, you must simply twirl around in circles tossing the powder about yourself, screaming at the top of your lungs seven times, "Bippity, boppity, boo. Bring me a guy that will like me too!"_

_And VOILA! You've got yourself the guy of your dreams!_

Hermione returned to her cauldron, where there sat a large amount of the silvery-green powder. She took the two large handfuls that the book suggested, and stood on top of the coffee table and began to twirl about, tossing the powder while doing so, and chanting "BIPPTY, BOPPITY, BOO! BRING ME A GUY THAT WILL LIKE ME TOO!" to herself. When she was finished, she remained atop the coffee table and waited for something to happen. Suddenly, she heard the sounds of someone running through the hallway, and promptly going KABOOM! into the portrait guarding the entrance to the Head dorms. Then the groggy form of Draco Malfoy staggered into the common room and bent down placing his hands on his knees. Without delay, he looked up to find Hermione standing atop the coffee table; her potions set out; and green glitter everywhere.

"_Malfoy?!_"

Hermione was then thrown forward, along with Draco, and smacked into him, lips locked in a literally bone-crushing kiss.

I guess there was one thing Miss Know-It-All forgot to read.

_Warning: This potion may cause one to end up in a deathly collide with ones mortal enemy._

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So this was just a quick thing that i came up with. i hope you all liked it!

**REVIEW!!!**


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